Podcast

SCRIPT for SKIT- DUE April 4th

Joseph: Ello Govna, my name is Sir Donald Winehouse. I'm looking for a bank.

Amanda: Well, you've come to the right place.

Joseph: Oh. How spiffy.

Amanda: How may I help you?

Joseph: Well, I just got to America from across the pond and I don't know how the bank system works here.

Amanda: Alright. So, in the U.S., banking is all about trust. You are trusting your bank to hold on to your money to keep it safe. The banks pay interest on some of our accounts. It's better to have money in a bank than in our house. The banks keep your money safe because they have security, the bank has people that make sure the bank is abiding by the bank laws and you are also protected by insurance. Writing checks and using credit cards are so simple and hassle free. You have to choose a bank wisely because---

Joseph: But how does it work?

Amanda: The banks makes most of their money from interest and from using the money you put into the bank to give away to other people. Its a lending process. A lot of give and take. People borrow money. This is called a loan. If they want to buy something, like a house, a car, or to pay for college, they tell the bank what they want to buy, and the bank gives them the sum of money they need. But, it's not yours to keep when you borrow money from the bank. In one way or another, you have to pay the bank back with interest. the interest rate will be a bit higher if you borrow money than when you deposit money. So, if your interest is 6% when you deposit, it'll be 10% when you borrow. This 4% difference is how the bank makes money.

Joseph: Uh cronkers, this is very interesting.

Amanda: Oh and The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) is a United States government corporation.The FDIC provides deposit insurance which currently guarantees checking and savings deposits in member banks up to $100,000 per depositor.

Joseph: What if I don't like any banks in the United States? Can't I start my own bank. How do I go about doing so?

Amanda: Listen, I don't have time to be your business partner. Telling you how to start your own bank. You can't just rent a building, put Winehouse Bank on the top, take peoples money and start giving out toasters. It's more complicated than that.

Joseph: Please help me. These yankees doodles don't know how to run a decent banking system.

Amanda: Look mister. Do you have 20 million dollars just laying around? That about how much it costs to start a bank.

Joseph: Actually, I have one billion. I bathe in money. Rather my toothbrush is made out of gold.

Amanda: Okay. Just come up with, oh, say $1 million or so from previous bank to cover start-up costs. Then find some experienced bankers who can survive an FBI background check and take them away from their comfortable jobs for a risky new adventure in a fresh bank.

Joseph: I have friends in London. I can bring them over to help me start. What's next?

Amanda: So, then of course, you’ll need to round up another $10 million to $20 million from investors in start-up capital. Simple, huh? Well, actually, yes.

Joseph: Umm, What's start up-capital?

Amanda: Ughhh... Okay, start-up capital is when you begin a new business and you need money to get started. You need money to buy or rent the space for your business, furniture, equipment, employees, and such.

Joseph: Ahh. So, when I start my bank, will you come work for me?

Amanda: You're missing the point. Forget it. Next, you'll need to do is have a bank regulation that sets the minimum reserves each bank must hold to customer deposits and notes called "Reserve Requirement". Also, what will your bank offer?

Joseph: I think I will offer drinks to minors when they deposit money in my bank. [smile]

Amanda: No no no. You cannot do that Mr. Winehouse.

Joseph: Sir Winehouse.

Amanda: Ok. SIR Winehouse. Banks are more than just a safe place to keep your money. They give benefits to their customers, both personal and commercial. Keeping customers satisfied means they are less likely to move their money to another bank. Banks have many techniques and services to reach this goal. Most banks offer free cash withdrawals and checks for life. Others offer multiple ways for customers to access and manage their accounts. Many banks and their branch locations have lobby hours where people can go inside the bank and talk to tellers and other bank representatives in person. This personal approach is very effective as people like to have a face on their banks. In addition, many bank locations have drive up services. People can perform almost all banking transactions from their automobile, saving time and effort. Telephone call centers have been set up where you can access most information over the telephone anytime you wish using their computer system.

Joseph: Interesting. You know for being a little feisty firecracker you sure have a lot stored in the noggin.

Amanda: Mhmm You'd be flabbergasted at all the knowledge stored in my "noggin." Anything else I can help you with Mr.--- Sir Winehouse?

Joseph: Well I keep hearing this thing about a Federal Reserve Bank. Please explain pretty lad.

Amanda: ANOTHER ONE? I was just kidding. Okay, The Federal Reserve Bank is the central bank in the USA and it has the responsibility to foster a sound banking system and a healthy economy. This bank is a bank for other banks. In addition it is a bank for the government. It was created to provide out nation with a safer and more stable financial system.

Joseph: Well this was a fun learning experience. Tea & Biscuits tonight?

Amanda: I have a boyfriend.

Joseph: By the name of?

Amanda: Ray Ray.

Joseph: Well Ray Ray is a lucky man. I will give you a call when my banking system is open and you will be more than a bank teller.

Amanda: HAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Joseph: Until Then, Bon Jour.

Amanda: Dueces.